I like to drink my water out of a wine glass.

Because I’m eccentric.

And a lush.

No apologies.

That’s all.

Wonderful opportunities are coming my way at the moment. This is my chance to not run away in fear, but to move forth in faith. This is my chance.

I feel more at home on stage than I ever have in any building. - Ashleigh, 2010

“Life if out there waiting, so go and get it.
Go and chase your dreams, you won’t regret it..
Anything can happen, if you let it.” 

I know that one day, I will meet my prince charming. 

Just like the movies, that’s how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic - with the perfect ending.

But he won’t be saving me. I will not be the damsel in distress. We’ll be partners in crime. We’ll take on the world together. 

If you knew how much this moment means to me, and how long I’ve waited for your touch. And if you knew how happy you are making me, I never thought I’d love anyone so much.. It feels like home to me, feels like I’m all the way back where I belong. 

Even though I’m all for feminism and womens’ rights, I’ll still want to be a bit stepford and take care of him; cook his dinners with a perfect bouffant up-do. And he’ll still feel the need to be a bit macho and protect me.

No more talk of darkness, forget those wide-eyed fears - I’m here.
Nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you.
Say you’ll love me, every waking moment. Turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you’ll need me with you now and always. Promise me that all you say is true - that’s all I ask of you. 

We will banter. Oh yes, there will be lots of this. We will accept each other, exactly as we are. We’ll make compromises for each other. He’ll wear the matching Christmas sweaters for me and I’ll go to the football for him. 

Laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summers night. Never could be sweeter than with you. And in the streets we’re running free, like it’s only you and me. Jeez, you’re something to see.
Home, let me come home. Home is wherever I’m with you.

We will have so much fun together, and laugh more often than not. We will be best friends and lovers. We will be two whole individuals coming together to build a life. 

There are so many dreams I need to see with you, there are so many years I need to be with you.. 

I’m not afraid to believe in my fairytale. I’m not afraid to believe.

Anywhere you go, let me go too…
Love me - that’s all I ask of you. 

"One day I’ll learn to like myself. One day I’ll finally get it right. And I’ll try till time catches up with me. One day I’ll be too old to care."  -

I never finish a cup of tea, unless someone else makes it. When I make my own tea I generally get distracted or side-tracked by oh, I don’t know, a butterfly or something shiny..? Then when I come back to it, it’s gone cold. When someone else makes it, I’m usually in a social situation where if I don’t finish the tea, someone will be offended, so I’m far more diligent in emptying my tea cup. I do love tea, but I can hardly commit to it.

I have come to realise this is true of me also. It’s kind of funny actually, because I’ve had a bit of an all or nothing attitude thus far. However, recently I’ve come to the decision that doesn’t work for me. I’m just not an all or nothing girl, because I’m partial to so much and there are so many facets to the person I am. I am a lover, hater, i’m angry, ecstatic, straight, gay, artistic, scientific, social, awkward, beautiful, ugly, free, tamed, feminist, repressed, omnivorous, vegan, normal, extraordinary, a believer, atheist, quiet, loud, funny, dry, depressed, content, extroverted, introverted, bold, shy, moving, still. I am neither here nor there, I am both. I am not totally anything.

“While I smiled it occurred to me, I’m just gristle and blood. And i’ve spent half my life, with the sun in my eyes, chasing rainbows through the mud. When I was a child in a little kids world, my heart was the same as the one I have now. But it amazes me how much, everything else has changed.” 

This is my favourite picture of me. In the 16 years that have followed I still haven’t found one I like more. I think it captures the essence of who I am. I love everything about this photo; my expression and playfulness, the tones, the shadows. My heart is still the same, I’m still this girl.

One/Won 

Hi there. My name is Ashleigh, I am 19 and all I know is that I don’t. Over the course of the past 19 years I’ve known me, forgotten me, remembered me, lost me - countless times. Sometimes I cannot separate who I am at heart, from who I have constructed of mind. This is a project for myself. Whenever I feel lost, I can find myself right here. I am going to try my best - which I’m learning is good enough - to blog every day in 2012 with something I have learnt about me. I know this coming year will be magical. Know why? Because I will make it so! Without further ado, in true new years eve spirit, these are my goals or resolutions if you will;

1. Love and accept myself, all of myself, all of the time - 100%. This links strongly into resolution two which is…
2. Never censor myself. Never feel the need to justify myself. Never apologise for who I am.
3. Be creative everyday. Stop just watching art and go make it. Sing, play, draw, write, journal, sew, compose, DIY, capture, bake, dance.
4. Nourish my body. Stimulate my mind. Feed my soul.
5. Spend time with nature every day. Get to know the trees and learn from the water.
6. Once a month, try something I have never done before. Once a month, go somewhere I have never gone before.
7. Once a year, travel to a country I have never been.
8. Be a better daughter, sister, auntie, friend, worker, team mate, musician, athlete, artist, partner, entrepreneur - person.
9. Volunteer.
10. Live simply.
11. Be brave. Be ready to accept all of the wonder the world offers up, not run away in fear.
12. Journal my gratitude daily.
13. Make time to just be.
14. Do something every day that I will be proud of in a years time.
15. Take joy in all of life’s semantics - cooking dinners, paying bills, cleaning.
16. Live in every moment. Feel every feeling. Never wish a minute away.
17. Be honest. Be empathetic. Be authentic.
18. Stop trying to be the next Kristin, Delta or Jewel. Be the very best Ashleigh, instead. Know she is good enough.
19. Be happy.